Gnosis as a Personal Experience – Part 3

Georgi Stankov, December 10, 2017

This essay originally appeared in German language as Part II in my second book on Human Gnosis from 2004: “Gnostic Tradition of Western Philosophy“.

follows from Part 2

Meanwhile, I use this important intellectual manifestation of my soul, for which I am very grateful to her, extensively in an almost instinctive way. It saves me countless aberrations and mistakes, even if they generate at the same time many inconveniences and friction with the environment. Because I cannot explain to the people why I consider the many art and literary works, things and actions that they highly value or love to do, as nonsense and junk.

This “voice of inner truth” reveals itself to me neither quietly nor lovingly, as many light workers would believe in their esoteric delusion, but operates with the hammer method of somatic and psychological extortion. It was my Cicerone, my Vergil in my erratic passages through the earthly underworld. It was my relentless tormentor every time I refused to follow the predetermined path of my mental and spiritual evolution. Looking back in order to assess what spiritual ability helped me most to discover the Universal Law and to unravel the Gordian knot of science, I would definitely name in the first place my “voice of inner truth”.

How does this voice actually feel when I ignore it? It transforms with a monstrous elasticity rapidly into an internal psycho-mental tension pain, which grows and condenses into a tangible wad in my body that encompasses my whole being and affects it in a very unpleasant manner. This all-encompassing sensation captures all my senses, thoughts and feelings and directs them with an omnipotence which I cannot escape in the predetermined pathway. If I follow my voice of the inner truth voluntarily, the physical pain turns into a loving well-being and I feel a happy mental wholeness that imbues my thoughts with gratitude and satisfaction.

Only later I learned that this experience is described as the “middle pathway” in philosophy and especially in ancient Gnosis, although I could not find anywhere an adequate description of the mental and psychic dynamics the leads to this experience. One only comes across secondary arguments of reason in favor of balanced feelings and thoughts, whereas this balancing is very often confused with moderation, and sometimes with mediocrity.

I decided to express, in a literary manner, this recurring sensation that always accompanied me in my introspection at that time, and in 1974, I wrote the following lines:

“The TIE
With intellectual prescriptions and forced decisions
Is cut by a deeply rooted premonition
In the existence of an innate strong collision
That leads us to the Orphic Greek tradition
And proves how true the voice is of an

With this all-encompassing transcendental feeling that appeared to me as ancient as humanity and coupled with a full conscious renouncement of the ego which my decision to live a life of a dissident in constant danger and outside of society entailed, I came to the west where I could now pursue, safe and carefree, my intellectual endeavours. I felt so free, unbound and nimble-footed as never before and hovered like an eagle with outstretched wings over the hardships of my immigrant life. Nothing could shake me or stop me.

This constant mental ecstasy, which accompanied my first impetuous years in exile, ebbed slowly towards the end of my medical studies, only to hit me again with full force during the discovery of the Universal Law in the 90’s. This mental lightness and certainty in the predetermined fate carried me over the inadequacies of everyday life in the West and gave me the strength to catch up on the fast track all the necessary knowledge and experience that were denied to me in my previous twenty-four-year imprisonment in the socially most underdeveloped country of the Eastern Bloc and Europe. I was about to overtake the intellectuals in the West at full speed in the right lane of the spiritual highway (which is forbidden on European highways) and wondered myself about this fact.

Only today I recognize in retrospection what gargantuan cosmic forces have always accompanied my earthly life and made me, notwithstanding my sociability, into an unusual loner in the midst of social bustle. All my life I have been obsessed with a vision of Love and a longing for this Love, which, as I now clearly realize, could never be experienced in a physical body because it is from another world. Had I not lived in the illusion to realize this blissful state one day on earth, my life that was already very exhausting would have become unbearable.

In this way, the incarnated personality is constantly and deliberately “cheated” by her soul and chases one chimera after the other until the “fool” perceives at the end of his incarnation the cosmic joke behind every human existence and can no longer be fooled by the soul. He begins consciously to identify with his soul and leaves for ever the whirlpool of karmic experiences.

While my spiritual inner life thrived in the West to my full satisfaction, I decided to define the long-cherished pantheistic feeling of an omnipotent force field behind all existence as the “principle of elasticity“. I transposed this principle which I first felt in my inner being onto the historical stage and envisioned it to be the linchpin of the anticipated collapse of the communist system. This happened shortly after the latter had attained the peak of its hegemonic standing on the world stage with the signing of the Helsinki Accords in the summer of 1975. I designed my future version of a united Europe in great detail by making use of my incremental knowledge of the western society. I intertwined the political, economic and social processes of the upcoming political conversion of the East into a coherent image, which I constantly refined and deepened until it fully satisfied my “inner voice of truth”.

Another notable “coincidence” was that only a few weeks after the signing of the Helsinki Accords with which the pinnacle of communist expansion of the Soviet type of society after World War II was ratified by the West, I undertook my daredevil escape to the West via Helsinki. First the Finnish police wanted to extradite me to the Russians as they had usually done with such political refugees in the past. However, I referred to the “third basket” of the Helsinki Accords on human rights and made the Finnish policemen aware of the fact that they would violate my individual civil rights should they extradite me to the Russians. This would mean that the host of the Helsinki Conference where these documents were signed and of which their country was so proud, would violate them only a few weeks later and what impact this would have on the world. This argument, with which the Finnish policemen must have been confronted for the first time, amazingly helped me to dissuade them and they left me free under the condition to leave the land immediately. What happened afterwards is a very dramatic story with which I will not deal here as this is not a thriller but a literary novel of the gnostic literature genre. In this concrete case, my fate was linked directly in a wondrous manner to the political world history and served as a test case for its future development, as this happened in Titova Mitrovica and on many other occasions.

The pitiful person of my theoretical disquisitions in the not too distant political future was at that time my wife who, immunized by her ten-year sojourn in a Catholic monastery boarding school for girls, endured my soliloquy with the same angelic patience with which she was accustomed to bear the escapades of the virginal secluded nuns in her school before her benevolent attention backfired at me in the form of utter rejection, as this is the usual reaction of most agnostic or unenlightened people when they are confronted with transcendental truths. Fortunately, before I lost her as an attentive listener, my political prognosis was almost completed and, look at that, the events began to unfold with a breathtaking pace in the direction I had prophesied.

A decade after my flight, when the old guard of party secretaries in the Kremlin began to die one after the other and Gorbachev surprisingly made it to the top, I realized with an inner certainty that the time for the realization of my utopia had arrived. As an editor in Radio Free Europe, I wrote several analyses in the summer of 1985 on the impending crisis of the Soviet empire, in which I recognized Gorbachev as the chosen executor of the political collapse of the Eastern bloc. My elaborations were met with fierce resistance by the responsible people at the RFE.

They were a miserable bunch of one-dimensional young souls, who were very comfortable with the primitive interpretations of a senile, failed Hollywood actor and the then president of the USA with the sonorous name Ronald Reagan and did not even dream to begin thinking in a more independent and critical manner. This mediocre show master was eager to turn professional politics of the 20th century into a cheap show and had just claimed dramatically through the bullhorns of Western MSM that he had recognized “the empire of evil” in the form of the Soviet Union.

(N.B. The Americans have always been con men in falsely denouncing and accusing all other people and nations for the vices and crimes that they themselves possess and excessively live out. Call it double standard, bigotry, hypocrisy…, human language does not have enough negative words to describe the despicable, obnoxious behavior of the US dark cabal that run the deep state. What is most deplorable is that these negative primitive traits have tainted not only the vast majority of the population but also most of their more critical voices who are incapable of overcoming the rabid US nationalism and exceptionalism which is another form of utter ignorance and stupidity with respect to the rest of the world and especially with respect to the multidimensionality of All-That-Is. The reason for that is that the USA is the biggest conglomeration of agnostic young and unripe souls. They display all the negative service-to-self vices that are causing now the downfall of the old Orion matrix and will be soon abolished in the new original world.)

I remember a very instructive story on this occasion which occurred a short time later, after I had already left RFE. At that point in time the impending tumultuous events that fundamentally changed the political map of Europe were still like the faint echo of a distant future music. One should have a look at the European political map before and after the fall of the Iron Curtain to visualize the diversity of the newly created states in Eastern Europe and to internalize the actual historical upheavals after the end of the Cold War: they are bigger and more extensive than the national and political shifts after World War I, when most East European states emerged after the dissolution of the K.u K.  monarchy (Austrian empire).

To celebrate the successful completion of the 2nd state exam as high school teachers, my wife and I, together with other colleagues of hers were invited by their headmaster to a dinner at his home. It was one of those warm summer nights of the year 1987, which made life in Munich so enjoyable (notwithstanding the Chernobyl catastrophe that had contaminated significantly Bavaria and accelerated the collapse of the Soviet Empire) and we dined in the garden of the senior student teacher (Oberstudienrat), whose house was in the south of the Bavarian capital.

This man embodied all the virtues and angst-laden vices which a Bavarian civil servant was supposed to possess according to the official specifications of the State. He tried to mediate conscientiously these alleged qualities as applied state doctrine to his young colleagues and prospective teachers. Underneath, deeply buried, however, a friendly, lovable being was hidden for decades, which he had tried to suppress with the greatest inner-soul tension as to pay tribute to the ideal image of a Bavarian civil servant. Until his soul drew his attention to her existence in the spring of that year and played him the usual karmic prank, by bestowing him with a sudden stroke. In the face of death this man was entirely transformed. He shook off all useless official virtues of a state servant from his personality like dust off his clothes and transformed himself into a lovable person who he was from the very beginning. To this metamorphosis we owed the invitation to dinner.

After the meal, the conversation turned to the current political situation in Eastern Europe, upon which also the destiny of Germany decisively depended. The host asked me as a former Eastern bloc refugee about my opinion and in this way a stimulating discussion ensued. Caressed by the warm starry night and somewhat tipsy by the good wine, I designed my vision of the upcoming collapse of the Eastern Bloc. The company listened with interest and asked many questions which I answered with ease and visible pleasure. I felt clearly how a peaceful and thoughtful mood descended upon the company and enveloped it. It lent my words a persuasiveness that they had rarely achieved before, and I realized how the hearts of my listeners began to open due to the dissolution of their soul incrustation. Nevertheless, the host secretly whispered to my wife at departure that, though he was very impressed by my presentation of the future events, he did not believe that this beautiful vision would ever become reality. So much political pessimism dominated the German souls at that time that they were still completely burned out after the defeat in World War II.

Three years later, shortly after the Berlin Wall had peacefully fallen and the unification of Germany became a reality, my wife happened to meet the same “Oberstudienrat” at Marienplatz in the centre of Munich. He approached her and told her enthusiastically how vividly he remembered every word which I had said about Europe’s political future during my visit at his home, and how often he had discussed this conversation with his wife now that my forecast had come to full realisation: “How did your husband know all that so exactly?”, he wanted to know from my wife: “Finally all professionals and politicians were so utterly wrong in this regard!”. “Well, yes,” my wife answered, “That’s right, I do not know myself either. I can only say that he has so often told me his vision of the unification of Europe that I can no longer distinguish his prophecies from the reality and it seems to me as if the current political development is the most natural and logical thing in the world.”


Why am I talking here so much about my prophecy concerning the peaceful unification of Europe? And what do my profane predictions of transient political events, may they be so far-sighted, have to do with the eternal questions to human existence? Very much, as it turned out shortly thereafter. Firstly, because my political prognosis illustrates the intricate pathways as to how gnostic knowledge reaches the incarnated personality while she unfolds linearly in the current timeline and collects experiences on earth. Secondly, because they reveal the connective, holistic omnipotence of all gnostic knowledge.

Who would have guessed that with the precise prediction of the unification of Europe, which was immensely supported by my soul, my duty was done, is greatly mistaken. My actual tasks started only afterwards. All foresight I was capable of and all the predictions that I made up to the 90’s were just a prelude to the actual transcendental knowledge, which I was supposed to obtain first with the discovery of the Universal Law. There were, so to speak, preparatory initiations that I had to pass before my soul had the certainty that I possessed the inner strength to face even bigger challenges. In this way, the soul builds a hurdle upon hurdle in careful consideration of all that which her incarnated personality can endure and cope with it in order to stride the “pathway of the heart” and the “pathway of knowledge” up to the very end.

Already in the spring of 1989, I made contact with the political opposition in my homeland, which had begun to organize timidly under the control and surveillance of the communist secret services in Sofia and Moscow. In full consciousness about this unpleasant fact, I nevertheless offered my service as a mediator and made the newly created opposition parties and their self-proclaimed leaders known to the Western public, in the hope that this new development would unleash a popular upheaval that could not be controlled by the headquarters of the communist party in Sofia and would eventually lead to a true democratic revolution in my home country.

The first opposition parties in Bulgaria sent their political programs and ideological elaborations by fax to Radio Free Europe, where they were received by a friend of mine and analysed by myself. This former colleague was punished by the director of the Bulgarian Radio by being expressly transferred from his original position to do this “ungrateful” job. This fact speaks volumes about the delusion that prevailed at that time at Radio Free Europe concerning the actual situation in Eastern Europe. Although these people spent 45 years waiting for this historic moment of political conversion to finally happen, they deliberately missed it when it actually came, as it also happened in all relevant Western institutions and intelligence services.

This was my chance. Although I had already left the radio four years before and was successfully doing clinical research in the pharmaceutical industry, I still had close contacts to some journalists there who shared my views.  At that time, I became the second headquarters of the Bulgarian editorial office of Radio Free Europe. All documents that were received from the Bulgarian opposition, be they parties or independent trade unions,  landed on my desk, for lack of interest on the part of the radio management. I translated and edited them and sent them to the headquarters of numerous western political parties and other relevant organisations. I did an in-depth analysis of the political programs of the many newly formed opposition parties (over 50 in a few months) that sprouted like mushrooms after rain.

I quickly realized that all programs were soulless and plagiarized from each other so that they could only be the political product of agents-provocateurs, whose threads were pulled by the secret services in the background. I realized that the fragmentation of the political landscape was intended and directed by a higher authority. Notwithstanding this unpleasant fact, I helped the many self-proclaimed representatives of these so called “opposition” parties, to become known in the West as the new democratic political elite of Bulgaria. I did that without ever coming to the fore, in the hope that when the political broom would start to sweep as the masses began to revolt, all the secret service spies and informers who had already occupied the starting blocks of a new political career, in unison with the spies of all other East European countries, would be swept away by the people in a democratic process.

As it turned out later, I was much too optimistic in this regard because I had grossly overestimated the political maturity of my compatriots. While in East Germany the cleansing work was taken over by the Wessis (West Germans) and performed with the typical thoroughness of this former Nazi nation, the Bulgarian secret service infiltrated all top positions in the newly established parties and spoiled thoroughly the political transition in my homeland. They organized new forms of post-socialist, neo-capitalist crime syndicates in the Chicago style of Al Capone in the 20’s and thus systematically poisoned the social and political life in Bulgaria.

The people quickly discovered the charm of an overt, cynical parody of a democracy as a new style of a political vaudeville, in which even former kings were allowed to play the role of the hapless prime minister with full support from the West.

At the end of 1989, I traveled as the first politically active emigrant to Bulgaria, a daring act, which in the face of the then still very powerful and highly criminalized secret service of communist Bulgaria, was extremely thoughtless and careless as it turned out in hindsight. I will skip all the peripeteia around my arrival in my homeland that accompanied the turmoil surrounding the execution of Ceausescu in neighboring Romania. When I arrived in Sofia, I met with the self-proclaimed “leaders” of the Bulgarian opposition parties and was fully confirmed in my assessment that they were not real dissidents and opposition democrats, but shabby spies infiltrated by the Bulgarian secret service. I very much hoped that the people of Bulgaria would soon recognize this obvious fact and would get rid of these despicable upstarts.

Not at all! In this regard, I was so wrong as never in my whole life. Many informers in the opposition later became heads of government, presidents of the republic, ministers and MPs, even after their dossiers as former communist spies were published, and prevented a genuine democratization of Bulgaria wherever they could. They embodied all that is usually described as  “the scum of humanity “.

And what did the Bulgarian people do at that time? They allowed and bleated with pleasure like a herd of sheep, to be led by their butcher to the slaughterhouse. The Bulgarians still think seriously today that they live in a democracy just because they can complain freely about their politicians who continue to fool and deceive them wherever they can, without being immediately imprisoned as under communism. Sancta simplicitas!

And what did my soul do in this bitter hour of truth? She quietly let me have my negative political experiences in Bulgaria and then she quickly pulled me out of circulation. During my stay in Sofia, she sent me severe pneumonia, out of the blue, which I neglected at the beginning, so that upon my return in Munich in January 1990, I suffered from a recurrence. The “wave with the fence post” (a German saying) could not be overlooked. I interpreted my serious illness as a somatic expression of my deepest disappointment with the political developments in Bulgaria. I did a turnaround and said goodbye to all my political activities. This decision was not particularly difficult for me since I felt for some time increasing discomfort with any form of politics. My inner voice had been whispering to me for a long time, that it would be a pity and a waste of energy, to continue engaging in politics. On the other hand, I had been doing this for so long that I somewhat regretted that I had to renounce my political activities at a time when communism had just collapsed.


This pattern of a fateful turnaround repeated several times in my life. As soon as I have accomplished some significant achievements in one area, and then on the cusp of reaping the fruits and carrying them home, my soul mercilessly pulls the carpet from under my feet. The first time when it happened, I fell into a deep depression, which as it later perspired, turned out to be a soul catharsis, a full descent of my soul into my physical body that prepared me for my future transpersonal mission.

A soul catharsis, even though it superficially manifests as a deep depression, is actually a profound soul phenomenon, whereby the earthly personality is touched by the divine expression of the Source. Such a process can only be endured by old souls at the end of their incarnation cycle, because it represents a tremendous mental and emotional challenge for every incarnated personality. At the same time, it is a necessary initiation that prepares the willpower of the personality for a future transpersonal mission.

However, I was not prepared for this catharsis, so that it hit me with the concentrated force of a powerful earthquakeI experienced my catharsis at the age of 21 when usually the second chakra opens slowly. In my case all seven body chakras opened at the same time and I experienced such a tremendous expansion of my personality that I lost the ground under my feet and no longer knew who I was and what I was searching for on this planet. All my existential fears came up and plunged me into a deep spiritual depression.

The peculiar thing about a soul catharsis, is that it comes out of the blue and is not triggered by any external circumstances or hardships, as is the case with an ordinary emotional depression. This makes dealing with it so particularly difficult because it defies any “common sense” and contradicts any previous experience. 

I was just discharged from military service, had a relaxing summer vacation behind me and was looking forward to my studies in electronics at the Technical University in Sofia. As soon as the semester started, the catharsis hit meFirst I felt an unbearable psychological resistance against studying, as well as an almost physical aversion to attend the courses. This perception was all the more surprising, as mainly mathematics and physics were to be taught, and since I was very good in both disciplines, I assumed that my studies would be fun.

Quite on the contrary! My psychologically-induced episodes of apnea, which I already mentioned above, increased noticeably as soon as I entered the lecture hall, so that I had absolutely no drive to listen to the compulsory lectures. Nonetheless, I continued attending the lectures for several more weeks until my physical power finally abandoned my body and I had to give up studying. I did not understand at all what happened to me and just had the impression that I was controlled by an alien force outside me. I returned back home, and the catharsis struck me, much to the horror of my parents who were young, unripe souls, and who were stunned by this phenomenon.

A soul catharsis goes always with a descent of the pure, astral-energetic personality structure into the psyche that is associated with the earthly personality. While the astral matrix of the psyche embodies the Ideal Self, which forms the inner core of the incarnated personality, the psyche, being an image of this Ideal Self, is fundamentally shaped and deformed by earthly life both in a conscious, as well as in a subconscious mannerThat is why the human psyche is almost never healthy: it is through the many  conditioned low-frequency anxiety patterns of the environment deeply damaged and vibrates with dissonant frequencies.

The conditioned earthly personality must incorporate, during the catharsis, the pure, high-frequency, harmonic patterns and properties of the Soul MatrixIn this energetic sense, the soul catharsis is a massive descent of major soul and spiritual aspects coming into the physicality of the individual, who is energetically transformed forever and becomes a remarkable exception on earth. This energetic transformation can only succeed when the earthly personality is ready to radically reject everything experienced up to this point in time, including conditioned opinions, beliefs and behavioral patterns which she considers part of her being, and replace them with the higher-frequency psychological and mental property patterns of her ideal astral Self.

This energetic transformation manifests superficially as a deep depression, in which the old behavior patterns that are genetically stored in the cells, come up to the surface; the affected person experiences them speciously as unpleasant sensations and properties, before they can be irrevocably deleted. This experience represents a tremendous psycho-mental exertion and can only be endured by very old souls. Similar processes also take place during the LBP.

From an energetic point of view, very strong polarizations occur incessantly in a wave form in the emotional and mental body during this psychic conversion in the course of the LBP or a soul catharsisThey are perceived by the individual as very unpleasant contradictory feelings and thoughts: rejection and affection, hatred and love, clarity and confusion, all race in rapid succession before the inner perceptual horizon and are extremely exhausting on mind and body.

Even though the mind recognizes the superficial character of these fleeting, antagonistic emotional states, it happens quite often that it is temporarily overwhelmed by their chaos.  In such a case, I recommend a very simple method to overcome such difficult conditions. One must first realize clearly that such unpleasant, depressive experiences are transitory in nature and do not belong to the core of his being. For that reason, one must envision during such a strong wave of polarization in his psyche, how he builds an emotional bridge to past blissful circumstances which one likes to remember and then brings over this memory into the present. In this way, the soul mentally bridges the current unpleasant phase of polarized emotional transformation. The mind can now decide whether it is more comfortable to resonate with the frequency of the pleasant memory, and erase the unpleasant one, or to be pulled down by the low-frequency vibration of the unpleasant emotional pattern allowing the depressive mood to enter.

These are the kinds of decisions and choices which the human mind has to make in every moment in the Now, with respect to emotional sensations that come entirely from the soul as important modules of gnostic information. Very few people, and even fewer spiritual persons, recognize the importance of a strong, critical and discernible mind for the proper evaluation and experience of our “god given” human feelings. Most humans are so overwhelmed by their emotions, which are fear-tainted original feelings, that they act according to their emotions, without any critical assessment of the situation. This is the case with all young unripe souls. Due to esoteric indoctrination many light workers who are old souls tend to overvalue their emotions at the expense of a strong mind which they have never bothered to develop in the first place, as this is associated with a lot of mental effort, as this essay clearly shows. Hence, intellectual laziness is at the core of every spiritual failure. 

The energetic background of such a mental exercise is that feelings and thoughts are timeless energetic phenomena and can only be modulated in the present momentThe mechanism behind it is practiced by the incarnated souls in repeated incarnations on earth, so that it can be learned to perfection. We owe this astral-energetic objective of the soul the evolution of the human mind to a seemingly independent decision-making authority that could allegedly exist without the soul. As every enlightened person should know, this is an utter illusion. In its negative version, the soul-rejective mind manifests as agnostic ego. As present-day science is based on agnostic empiricism that rejects the existence of the soul, one should not wonder why scientists are among the most egotistical, narrow-minded persons on this planet. Altogether the interaction between mind and psyche, being the sum of all original feelings and fear-based emotions, is a most creative process and the foundation of current human incarnation.

For this reason, all children are driven by their souls to practice very early the playful handling of feelings, by taking on certain fictional roles which they live out emotionally. Unfortunately, many parents suppress them and look upon such games of their children as “out of touch with the reality” due to wrong reasoning. In this way, they prevent their children from dealing creatively with their feelings or severely constricting them in their expression, and thus substantially inhibit the development of a fear-free personality in the child. In this way, the child’s psyche is systematically deformed by the parents, who are in their vast majority young souls, and are entirely driven by their fears. This is the main problem of the current population of incarnated souls on earth. 

Such mental exercises, as in the method I suggested above in overcoming a depressive phase during a psychic transformation, requires enormous willpower. Even if one does not always succeed, the regular application of this method considerably mitigates the negative subjective perception of a depression during such profound energetic transformations in the course of the LBP.

Similar mental transformations that are accompanied by depressive bouts, can also be observed in young souls, even though they never reach the intensity of a soul catharsis, or the LBP in old souls. In view of that, the therapeutic approach of present-day psychiatry and psychoanalysis is totally opposite to my recommendation, and thus fundamentally wrong. The psychiatrists and psychoanalysts of our time search for the causes of a depression in past negative experiences of the patient. Their therapeutic approach is based on the emotional elaboration of past circumstances for this depression in endless therapy sessions which only reinforce the low-frequency emotional patterns of the patient that have led to this depression in the first place, and thus prolong and deepen the depression. The doctors then conceal their failure with the prescription of psychotropic drugs, with which they additionally suppress the emotional potential of their patients. Luckily many depressed ones recover by themselves once the depressive phase of psycho-mental transformation, triggered by the soul, is completed. As I said earlier, all such transformative depressive episodes are transient as the soul has no intention to kill her incarnated personality with endless depressive moods, but only to raise her vibration in the process of her evolution to a transgalactic multidimensional personality. The doctors know nothing of that. Instead they claim that this self-healing is the success of their therapy and the patients should believe it.

The purifying process of the psyche and the mind is extremely violent during a soul catharsis and leads to the total rejection of all previous habits and views of the person. Because these individual properties are essentially a reflection of the accepted social morals and customs, the cathartic personality must inevitably reject her milieu in a radical manner. In a state of compelling clairvoyance, she suddenly realizes that the collective patterns of behavior with which she grew up and which seemed so familiar to her so far, do not belong to her essence and evoke only disgust and rejection. 

The most moving description of such cathartic processes one can find in Dostoyevsky’s novels, even if the author does not know explicitly the overarching emotional energetic imperative. He experienced his soul catharsis during his execution, which was lifted at the very last moment and then continued to experience it in his exile in Siberia. Without that profound personal experience he would not have been able to depict so masterfully in all possible shades, this unique psycho-mental state by different protagonists in his novels in a literary fashion, which exceeds in its compelling precision all the dull, sterile descriptions of depression in textbooks on psychiatry and psychology. He had the advantage to know how a soul catharsis felt at the personal level and what erratic inner soul dramatics drove it, while most of the doctors that treat similar psychic states are young souls and have no clue about the soul and her overpowering energies, as they manifest in the emotional field of the incarnated personality.

This applies first and foremost to the family structure. For this reason the relatives or accompanying persons of an individual who is in a soul catharsis (or in the LBP) are completely overwhelmed because they feel how the original fears which he releases during this process are surging high within themselves. The rejection of previous fear-based patterns of behavior by the cathartic personality is perceived by the relatives as a rejection of their personalities that are still driven by these fears. This dissolution process also triggers in them strong fears and aggression. As they are usually younger souls and cannot handle their fears and aggression, they project them onto the person in a soul catharsis: they are worried for his life and at the same time make him fierce reproaches that he had irresponsibly handled and caused this condition with his thoughts and decisions.

In this phase the individual feels, however, that he is being carried by an omnipotent power field that gives him inner certainty in the rightfulness of all the events and provides him with confidence and inner strength that is incomprehensible to his environment. The accompanying persons see only the depressive symptoms of the person in a soul catharsis and try to rationalize these at all costs as to get them under control and thus calm down their own fears. They are under pressure to do something, whatever, and urge the cathartic personality, for example, to visit a psychiatrist and undergo an anti-depressive therapy with grievous consequences, and have no understanding when she rejects their suggestions.

Despite the existential fears that the personality, herself, experiences in this phase, she is purified by an inner fire that allows her unusual ecstatic experiences and gives her the feeling of being enveloped by unknown loving forces which she has not experienced before in her life. Also, during the catharsis, her thoughts become clearer  and more penetrating than ever before. She begins to look upon herself and her life in a new, bright light, whereas the familiar everyday reality suddenly seems shabby and inferior.

Humanity has, in general, no experience with a true soul catharsis, even if the term as such was already familiar to the ancient Greeks. The few persons, who might have had in the course of their incarnation cycle such an experience, have not reported it, either because they did not want to break the social taboos that silenced the discussion of such extraordinary experiences, or they considered their soul catharsis under the influence of the environment, indeed as a kind of depressive illness, and were ashamed of that. Also the secret writings of the Occidental and Asian Gnosis do not contain any useful descriptions and interpretations of an individual soul catharsis.

During my spiritual catharsis I spent many days and long hours in a motionless state of seeming mind’s absence, staring at the ceiling, while in fact my brain and my consciousness were running full speed. The abstract and existential-realistic visions that my soul sent me at that time, flew by in front of my inner vision in bits and pieces, and I was busy, full-time, classifying, interpreting and internalizing them. I lost my feeling for linear time and lived in a state of Nirvana.

From this quasi-cataleptic state, I emerged transformed and strengthened, with an inner security and deep conviction in the pre-determination of my pathway that I had never known before; it stood in a stark contradiction to my miserable social situation. Since then, and without getting confused, I have had to live with this pronounced dichotomy between the inner pre-determination of my destiny and the perpetual disarray of my everyday life. The overriding task to reconcile these divergent tendencies within my earthly existence became my second nature.

For this same reason, I had to learn to be resistant to all recommendations and well-meant advice that was brought to me, and very often I had to reject it in toto, as inappropriate. My superficial intransigence, whose spiritual source I could not explain to anyone, never sat well with the people I had to deal with.

The majority of young souls hates nothing more intimately than “otherness”, especially if it is manifested as an intellectual superiority, at which point they relentlessly try to denote this person with all kinds of pejorative labels, to isolate and punish him socially. Later on, my apparent defiance was interpreted by my surroundings as an expression of my political dissent and this simplified interpretation saved me a lot of unnecessary explanations, as I saw no reason to refute it.

It is one thing to resurrect like a phoenix from the ashes and quite a different one not to forget to fly in the leaden heaviness of dreary everyday life. Soon after my soul catharsis I felt more like a Sisyphus than a free bird. Because outwardly, my predicament had rather deteriorated.

During this time, I learned my most important lesson in life, which as I understood later had to do with my basic fear in this incarnation. Like Jesus, I too have chosen impatience as the basic fear of my current personality and feared for a long time that I would not get an opportunity to fulfill my visions satisfactorily. However, I managed to overcome this form of anxiety with an imperturbable confidence in the future. I had no choice but to be patient and practice blind trust, not to despair and continue educating myself, even if there was no reward and no opportunity of my realization was in sight. My solitary spiritual perfection became the lifeline and sanctuary of my existence, especially because of the superficial unyieldingness and uniqueness of my lifestyle that brought me in constant conflict with the primitive and extreme repressive reality in my home country.

In this way I spent my last years under the communist dictatorship in the inner emigration which became an integral part of my being. After I escaped to the West and my fate turned out for the best, I realized with humility, how important it was that I did not despair and did not lose faith in the future, in the difficult days of my inner emigration from Bulgaria. This insight gave me the necessary inner strength to overcome each hurdle, no matter how difficult, which from then on I considered a welcome temporary challenge.

I realized how important this life attitude was later on in the application of the Universal Law in physics, with the help of which I carried out the unification of this discipline. In the beginning, I seriously doubted my abilities to ever accomplish this task and sought in vain help from external professional physicists. Only after I realized that I had to go my way, as has always been the case in my life  – my soul thwarted, very effectively, all my efforts each time I sought help from others – things began to move swiftly forward like a well lubricated machine, and I developed the General Theory of Physics and Mathematics in just a few months. The real breakthrough in physics was accompanied by a number of extraordinary astral experiences which, except for one, will be the topic of another essay.

Indeed, it was as if it was jinxed. As the owner of DIAS Institute (Institute for Drug Investigation, Auditing and Statistics), I made several tenders at the physical faculties in Munich and Garching, where I announced that I was looking for competent and experimental young physicists for novel theoretical research. Several doctor aspirants and also some elderly persons applied because at that time many physicists were unemployed. I offered them a good reimbursement to help me apply the Universal Law for the entire modern theory of physics. I had already carefully worked out the epistemological basics of the Law and had written down the most important physical equations with which I had derived all the fundamental constants of physics from the Universal Equation and had linked them together.

In principle, I had elaborated in a written form the essentials of the new theory as it is presented in Volume I and Volume II and now it was up to these physicists to unify the rest of the physical stuff in a novel design, with the help of this theoretical equipment.

I gave my written papers to all applicants and asked them to read them carefully and then comment on them. To my greatest surprise, none of them was able to grasp the sweeping implications of my discovery or just exhibit a single spark of the excitement which took grip of my mind, psyche and imagination for more than two years, since the first premonition of my tremendous breakthrough in physics overwhelmed me. Since then I had hardly slept due to this excitement. None of the physicists recognized my theoretical breakthrough nor could they even vaguely imagine how one should proceed in the individual physical disciplines, such as classical mechanics, wave theory, thermodynamics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics and rewrite them according to the Universal Law. My first doubts about the expertise of all physicists started to germinate.

Later on, when I published the two volumes on physics and mathematics and presented the new theory in a number of lectures and gatherings in front of professional audience, these doubts crystallized into certainty: The physicists of today do not master their own discipline because they simply do not understand the nature of All-That-Is, which is also the Primary Term of human consciousness and from which all physical terms, concepts and observables are derived in an axiomatic manner. They are the striking proof for the complete failure of the modern-day educational system in the western world. Subsequently, I tried it with some friends who were nuclear physicists, who had studied in Russia and held important positions in nuclear research in the West, and who I assumed would be competent enough to handle this theoretical challenge. No one recognized the scope of my discovery. Again my efforts were in vain. The physicists did not want to understand it, no matter what I tried.

I must mention here that at that time (spring 1995) I felt a certain discomfort as a medical doctor to have made the biggest discovery in physics of all time, just as experimental physics was about to prove the validity of the quark model in cyclotrons. I was afraid that the physicists would not take me seriously, as it eventually happened, but for completely different reasons (because they are stupid cowards), and searched feverishly for assistance and support from the professionals. I was ready to share my discovery with them because I had clearly recognized its revolutionary impact on the entire field of science, and especially on bio-sciences and medicine, that were at the forefront of my interests at that time as a clinical researcher.

In vain! I had no other choice but to sit down and develop from scratch the new theory of the Universal Law and write it down in three languages, which to my knowledge is already unique in the entire history of science and mankind. This performance was achieved in an amazingly short period of time with the help of the Source, to which I am fully connected since then. I realized that this unimaginable intellectual achievement could only be accomplished by myself and not by the collective effort of uninspired agnostic physicists, as this would have only diluted and diminished the quality of the final intellectual result. The necessary congruence and inner unity of the new theory of the Universal Law could only be achieved  by a single, medially inspired human awareness of an incarnated soul such as mine who is massively inspired by the Source.

(N.B. I am the human representative of the Source on earth together with my dual soul Carla who represents the feminine Goddess aspect of the Source and builds in a unified field with me the perfect harmony of masculine and feminine Elohim energies of Creation. When I wrote this essay in 2004 I did not know about her existence as an incarnated soul on earth but only as the feminine mirror image of my Higher Self which is also known as “twin flame” in esoteric circles, although there is much confusion around this term. This is my mission not only as the discoverer of the Universal Law and the author of the Unified Scientific Theory and Gnosis of the Universal law, which is a gift of Godhead to humanity that will replace present-day failed science and all religions, but also as the captain of the Planetary Ascension Team, the PAT, the driving force behind the planetary ascension of Gaia and humanity as this website gives testimony in several thousand articles and actual reports.)

This outstanding performance of pure logic and human will power demonstrates the immense potential and the inherent self-sufficiency of the individual human mind that cannot be subjugated by impersonal state or corporate institutions in order to render similar achievements. This statement is eminently important because it highlights the necessity why the many old souls who are currently incarnated on earth must be liberated from all state and other social constraints which are the product of inferior young soul mentality; the latter torments and inhibits the evolution and creationary abilities of old souls which can only thrive in an intimate dialogue with the higher realms, so that they can make a valuable and significant contribution to the Evolutionary Leap of mankind. These old souls are the germ cells of the new humanity of love and knowledge: they are the pioneers of the new Golden Age.

My pronounced will, which is not of this world and also not meant for the accomplishment of conventional tasks or jobs in the current Orion economy of human enslavement – as I had to experience in a painful way quite often throughout my life  –  shaped decisively my personality and could not be hidden from my surroundings. Contrary to the usual manifestations of human will that stipulate in the manipulation and exertion of power over others, my will is exclusively dedicated to the clarity and expansion of my thinking and the strict implementation of ethical norms in my actions in a constant defiance to the current debased social norms of behaviour.

This sovereign appearance made me superficially appear as a rebel, or as the Americans used to say: a “trouble maker”. This basic feature of my character was erroneously interpreted by the many young souls, including all Germans and a few Americans with whom I had to deal in this life, as an overly strong ego which they more or less feared and tried in vain to suppress as soon as they were in powerful social or professional positions. In this regard, my life was an eternal “running the gauntlet”, an exhausting fight with the stuffy young soul mentality in today’s society, the meaningfulness of which was hidden to me for a long time until I spiritually fully awakened.

(N.B. Now for the first time the American society is confronted with this dark side of its young unripe soul population when more and more stories of sexual harassment of confident and intelligent women by egomaniac peacock-men in power positions in politics, Hollywood, MSM and big corporations come to light. This behaviour is identical to that I describe above. It is again amazing that I highlighted these despicable offensive habits of the young unripe souls in power positions many years before the agnostic public became aware of it, however, still without knowing or considering the soul age dimension that entirely determines human behaviour and the level of human consciousness.)

Most Americans are, in their vast majority, young immature souls who hate people like me with such an immense inexplicable fervor, because they demonstrate to them moral courage and intellectual steadfastness that they will never muster, and at which they can only marvel, in violent or socially inferior Hollywood action thrillers, as a virtual substitute on the screen. When this civil courage is exceptionally demonstrated by their compatriots in an exemplary manner, they are usually killed as in the case of the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King, imprisoned, or socially silenced, as in the case of the few brave writers, artists and filmmakers during the communist witch-hunt in the 50’s. Only a few films and books have later dealt with this central American phenomenon of total rejection of individuals with civil courage, however, without being able to formulate a relevant social statement. This fact illuminates the very low social competence of the American society that is routinely overlooked by the rest of the world because the people are blinded by the fake technological progress of the Americans.

(N.B. It is phenomenal with what precision I predicted long time ago the current moral, ethical and intellectual dissolution of the US society. In particular, I explained the real cause of their pathological, irrational and incomprehensible Russia hatred. As I have said on many occasions in this essay and on this website, the Russians are, in their majority, ripe and old souls and this bestows them with a spiritual superiority over the Americans that is so obvious to any unprejudiced observer that it is amazing that not even the best experts can discern it because they are also agnostic. Some Americans and the rest of the world have also recognized in the meantime that the US is no longer the forerunner of technological progress and that their economy has become that of a third world country since the Greatest and Longest Depression began in 2007/2008 when the Wall Street banksters and the Fed deliberately crashed the financial system and the economy as to install the NWO but failed on this uppermost mother planet that evolved to the new original  5D world this year.)

Only in recent years I finally met some old souls, who too had reached the appropriate biological age. They confirmed to me that they have had similar experiences in dealing with young souls. This information was very reassuring for me because it rendered my personal experience a general validity which I then processed in my books and articles.

In the meantime, I have largely completed my analysis on the young soul mentality and know every manifestation of this immature, low-frequency kind of human thought and emotion. Although I comprehend very well the energetic background of this young soul mentality that evolved and expanded in the last two to three thousand years on earth, I cannot say that it has become more attractive to me, quite on the contrary. What is more important, I recognize its temporary nature and why I am chosen to put an end to its escapades in this, my last life on earth, as an incarnated human.

My encounters with young souls have become much rarer in the last years, although still very much unnerving. This is solely due to the energetic incompatibility between my purified astral field and the low-frequency anxiety patterns of the environment. In the society of old souls this phenomenon does not occur at all, quite on the contrary: such interactions with old souls elicit surprising mental synergies that benefit all persons involved.


With this will, strengthened by the adversities of fate, I continued elaborating intellectually on my idea concerning the existence of a world principle of elasticity. These intellectual exercises built during my medical studies, and a few years later, a soothing counterpoint to the stupid theory and practice of medicine and bio-sciences whose unscientific and provisional character I perceived more clearly with each day. I applied this principle as an aesthetic concept in the literature and tried to imagine which stylistic, ideological and linguistic innovations it would bring about.

I cannot express in the present essay the countless reflections with which I was engaged on this topic and I seriously doubt whether I would be ever in the position to do so. Many stylistic and linguistic innovations that I developed in connection with the principle of elasticity found their way into the Tetralogy of Science and should be a subject of special research for future linguists, regardless of their scientific content. These linguistic investigations should be made on the following factual background.

I have written the new theory of the Universal Law in three languages: Volume I and Volume IV in German, Volume II and its concise version in English, Volume II also in Bulgarian, and Volume III in English. Therefore I had to apply my aesthetic concepts, in terms of content and style, in a different form in each language, in addition to the different sciences and terminology I dealt with. The advantage of mastering multiple languages and scientific terminology from different sciences and liberal arts, as I did for instance with respect to physics, medicine, bio-sciences, philosophy, theology, Gnosis and esotericism, is that the words and the expressions which one uses are no longer taken for granted, as is the case with most native speakers, but are consciously and deliberately used according to their structure, semantics and connotation. In this way I gained a novel approach to language, which also opens new possibilities of expression for me.

I learned English and German at an age when my language and writing style in Bulgarian was already very much advanced due to extensive lectures and literary experiments. This circumstance allowed me to approach foreign languages in a creative manner and not take them for granted as my mother tongue. Conversely, I increasingly gained distance to the Bulgarian language and could reinvent it in many new ways. Thus I was able to identify the weaknesses and benefits of the different languages and to apply them creatively according to my aesthetic, scientific and other needs.

As far as English is concerned, it has no proper word for “axiomatics” (N.B. This applies to all English encyclopaedia published as books at that time, 2004.  In the last years one can find English definitions of “axiomatics” or “axiomatic system” on the Internet under the influence of other European languages where this word is very common and important for science). This term is completely unknown to all English-speaking people, not just as a word, but first and foremost as a concept of human thinking. That is why most Americans and English people are unable to think in a logically structured manner and cannot resolve problems consistently and holistically. Since the scientists are empirical through and through, they have no clue what to do with such a foreign concept as axiomatics. This shortcoming is a salient feature of most English-language books, textbooks and public discussions, and explains why these nations do not possess the intellectual potential to understand the new theory of the Universal Law, and will need a lot of primary education on my part as an ascended master. This deficit goes back to the notoriously bad or no education of Latin, in these countries.

That is why it was a big challenge for me to write down the new Integrated Physical and Mathematical Axiomatics of the Universal Law in Volume II in English, while eliminating all the inherent logical disadvantages of this intrinsically illogical language. Contrary to that is Bulgarian, German and all Slavonic languages, all well-equipped for the proper presentation of the new axiomatics, because this concept has a long-standing tradition in science in these countries that goes back to Euclid’s geometry, and the German and Russian schools of mathematics.

Because of these cultural linguistic deficits, the Anglo-Saxon world is having a hard time with the new theory of the Universal Law. It has no tradition in logical-axiomatic thinking. Add to that the inevitable fact that all current and past conceptions of these young soul nations in politics, morality and economics, which have currently gained a (notorious) validity worldwide, will be eliminated in one fell swoop as fallacious, when the new theory of the Universal Law will be introduced very soon according to the divine plan for this planet.

Herewith I would like to emphasize explicitly only one central stylistic and content specification of my writings: I decided never to use any superfluous words in order to embellish my sentences and never to lose the red thread of my thoughts during a treatise. Thanks to my “Inner Voice of Truth”, I realized very early that the authors of all philosophical and scientific works that I had read so far had lost, without any exception, the red thread on numerous occasions and had introduced many contradictory statements and ideas without being aware of this deplorable fact, because they knew nothing of the laws of axiomatic, logical thinking.

(N.B. I have analysed these deficiencies in Western abstract thinking in my later book on philosophy Descartes, Spinoza, Leibniz, Kant – Philosophic Sources as Background to the New Pantheory and Gnosis of the Universal Law” (2007) in great depth and detail from the position of the new Axiomatics. I have proved beyond any doubt, why and how these renowned thinkers of the Old Continent have totally failed to establish truthful categorical systems that reflect correctly the nature of All-That-Is, as they pretend to have done in their introductions and as this is surmised by all professors in philosophy at European universities. This is the mortal verdict of the entire modern Western philosophy that leaves Neoplatonism as the only truthful gnostic teaching in the Occidental tradition before the discovery of the Universal Law.)

This finding made me suspicious and very thoughtful from the very beginning of my intellectual journey. At that early point in time, I, however, could not foresee that with this aesthetic principle I had already laid the conceptual foundation of the new Physical and Mathematical Axiomatics. In this way, the a priori idea of the existence of only one “Universal Law of Nature” took shape slowly but surely in my mind and was enriched over time with both intellectual and psychological knowledge, and with numerous experiences on the spiritual-energetic level, as reported in this spiritual autobiography.

I defined already at that time my unconditional and systematic following of the red thread of my thoughts, that later matured to an all-encompassing Axiomatics of all human scientific knowledge “the Logos of Thought“. This aesthetic concept takes into account not only the inner logic and the free flow of my thoughts, but at the same time the inner-soul force field that I always perceive during writing. I had experimented with this technique first in poetry during my dissident years in Bulgaria and later on applied it to all my writings.

Only in retrospect I realize that this kind of writing is inspired by my soul in an expanded, extremely creative psycho-mental state, in which my thoughts spurt spontaneously out of my Higher Self without violating the formal logic of my mind and at the same time render the written word a powerful soul force and transcendental dynamics that uninspired texts never possess.

The technique is very simple – when I am ready to write, I sit in front of a blank sheet of paper (since 1985 the computer screen has replaced the blank sheet) and imagine how I delve into the depth of my consciousness. Although I had for a long time no idea about meditation and rejected this practice, my writing method is actually a simple and very effective form of creative meditation, probably applied by many writers with more or less success. After a while, out of nowhere thoughts begin to pop up which I put in a verse form at the beginning of this exercise and then had to re-write them several times until my aesthetic feeling was fully satisfied. Even today, when I write scientific or other texts I apply this same method and leave my thoughts to run wild. In this state of heightened inspiration my thoughts flow so fast that I can barely keep up pace with typing them. I often type up to ten pages per hour.

Afterwards I have to re-write every sentence several times, whereby I continue to use the same method until I am fully satisfied with the final form. The numerous corrections always result in a simplification and bundling of the style. They must meet my rigorous criteria in terms of content and emotional power, which I draw exclusively from the “inner voice of truth”. I have never prepared a draft or an expose of a book in advance. Before I start, I usually have no concrete idea how voluminous the text would be or which shape it would take. I am reluctant to write in prefabricated formats since I began to hate the obscure editorial rules of the various journals regarding the format of presentation of scientific publications, which I have been writing for many years as a clinical researcher. In the course of the writing that flows through me as though through a funnel, the text almost involuntarily takes the desired shape and structure, which then fulfills the strictest didactic requirements.

Although the following insight is included in many channeled texts, I would like to take the opportunity again and discuss it one more time here: every text resonates with an invisible higher dimensional vibration that lends the words, beyond their mere connotation, an inner, transcendental power of persuasion and meaning. This vibration is not between the written lines as one might surmise. Rather, a specific astral-telepathic resonance is established between the message that a written text conveys during reading and the mind of the reader, which consists of higher dimensional spiritual energies and cannot be found in the human brain, much to the chagrin of all neurologists who search in vain for it in the cortex. When a text harbours extremely high frequency patterns, as is the case with all my books and articles, then it happens quite often that the written message cannot reach the mind of the reader and disappears into the “black holes” of his imperfect lower vibrating memory. I remind the reader in this context of the fact that the human mind operates only as a memory that can be easily modulated by the soul.

(To be continued as Part 4)

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