An Open Discussion with Our Higher Selves

by April Bender and Georgi Stankov, August 12, 2012

Dear April,

I think that your HS owes us an explanation for this latest delay of our ascension. For instance a background information what has gone wrong again, as I feel since two days that they have new unplanned problems, about which they did not inform us.

With love and light

Dear Georgi,

I spent all yesterday very angry with HS and the Higher realms. I essentially told them to f-off and I was done with the entire thing. It was an awful day, to say the least. I do want to assure you (and the PAT) that I have had a very strong, refined communications with HS for quite some time now. In fact she helped me during an entire year when I was searching to find a new job that better aligned with me internally. She was right about everything. I’m still at a loss and feeling very betrayed, but I wanted you to know that I would have never sent in my HS messages to you (and the PAT)  if I thought they were suspect in the least.

When I received your note this morning, I knew you were right, we needed to hear from my HS, but at the same time, to try and bring information through when I am so angry and disappointed with her, was very challenging. I still don’t know how to feel about her message and will need to take some time to sit with it. I hope it resonates with you and the PAT, but at this point I don’t fool myself, we’re all somewhat bitter right now.

An Open and Frank Conversation With my Higher Self

7-12-2012 Morning

Me: So WTF? What is going on? You said we’d be ascended by now, at the latest the Lion’s Gate, and here we still are. Am I back to square one with you again? Should I just forget about this entire mission? Is this how the Higher realms treat their servants? Because I don’t get it. It’s not like we just pull these ideas out of thin air, we get them from the impressions/visions/insights/dreams you give us along with your messages. If they aren’t true/real why even bother with us?

HS: April no! You are there, you’ve done it!

Me: Bullshit! I’m tired of hearing that. And if I’ve done it, if we’ve done it, why are we still here?

HS: We are working on that (?) But first let me back up. As already mentioned, this entire final energetic process leading up to your ascension/sealing of the timelines/PAT supernova, and that you’ve pretty much completed now, was a very true and accurate description of what has indeed been taking place on an energetic level over the last days/weeks. You don’t need me to confirm that as you all felt it/experienced it first hand and continue to do so. So as you well know, this was not a lie or misinformation as you yourselves sensed this and felt it acutely within your bodies. Those who did not see/sense or participate in this process in some way, are not the main intended receivers of all the information that we discuss.

Me: Then why the ascension delay? You said at the Lion’s Gate or within 72 hours (a few days) afterwards. That is indeed what you alluded to.

HS: Yes I did, as the highest probable outcome seemed to be within the time frame that I gave you. And to us, please try and understand, that we still perceive you/time as still being within that very same window, as it is ALL still part of the same, larger energetic process that we’ve been discussing for weeks now. To us though, it is still all within the same “moment” of time and even though the energetic process (where the PAT is concerned) is pretty much complete, the actual manifestation of this has not yet happened, therefore we are still very much in it until this happens. Basically it cannot be over until it is fully complete, manifestation and all. Simply put the ID split has not yet manifested. You know your ascension is directly tied to this event. Perhaps you should ask be asking me about why the ID split has not happened instead of why you have not ascended.

The Higher/Inner realms only wait now on the essential timing of the ID split/PAT supernova. It has been stressed from the beginning that timing would also have to do with the masses, (1) how well they integrate this energy, (2) how the remainder of the portal opening process went, and (3) the final emitting of light codes to the masses by you. All three of these needed to be achieved before the manifestation of the ID split/PAT detonation. Currently, these last components have not reached their goals/thresholds quite yet and actually we’ve had a few hiccups, though nothing to worry about. 

Essentially, the portal located in Iran (?) was being used by both the forces of dark and the forces of light. Unfortunately more so by the forces of the dark over the last 50 years. This portal especially was to be used by them in their plan to instigate WWIII. Opening and clearing that portal has been cumbersome, as the dark forces still residing in that area very much didn’t want to let go of this very important “chess piece.” There was a bit of a tug of war that played out there over the last couple of days, but of course we’ve won the day as there is simply too much light/support streaming in now to give them any ground to stand on. 

Along with portal issues, the masses are still assimilating the light code/information you are emanating. Please also understand that with your latest decree you demanded ascension for your family members/loved ones/soul group members. While some of the upgrading can happen after your ascension, a certain threshold or foundation must be met first. You are also attending to this by the transmission of light codes/information and in your natural grounding/anchoring/breathing in of this new lighter “capstone” energy.

Please understand April that this why I began stressing more in recent messages the overall “process” to your ascension versus any particular timing/days being mentioned. Your personal feelings/experiences during this process are much better indicators, as your dreams/visions/insights prove, of how far you are versus me giving you any date. If you ask for ascension dates, we do our best to accommodate, but you must know that we view time much differently than you, as we don’t experience it the way you do, and this entire endeavor is based on reaching energetic milestones/thresholds, moving from one to the next, but not about crossing off or reaching a particular date. So often the dates you do receive, are important energetic threshold dates that are very much a part of your CURRENT ascension process. And you asking about your ascension date is also difficult for us because you’re very much ascending NOW in the NOW, but that apparently is not what you mean or how you perceive it.

You are still very much in the energies of the Lion’s Gate as they will be felt most intensely over the remaining period of Leo, and influencing all the way up until December. The Higher realms are still very much excited over your imminent return, the party is still happening and all that has been shared before is on its way to manifestation. Please trust us in this. You’ve come so far and are literally right there, actually already there, it is only the mechanics of their actual manifestation that is left, and we are working feverishly on these final details.

We know you are at your wits end and are doing our very best. I would encourage any one reading this to seek out their own HS for validation/confirmation, and check in with self, because you already know the answers you seek, you can feel/sense them. You can sense how far we now are in the process, and that you are still literally “on the cusp.” You feel these “capstone” energies, the portals opening, your divine family drawing closer. But these other, final details cannot be forced. We can hospice them to the best of our ability, but they are complex and must unfold in their “right” time.

It seems to be that the most heartache or mis-communication between the two of us happens around the focusing of specific dates. This is something you need to let go of and I need to stop participating in. Initially we would “inspire” you around certain dates coming up that were important to you energetically, and therefore get your attention and full presence in the NOW. After our last falling out, I promised you not to do this anymore BUT should you pointedly ask, I will always answer to the best of my ability.

But now as I’ve said already the best indicator for your ascension at this point, especially after the unfolding energetics of the last weeks, for the first wave of ascenders, are your senses and what they are saying/showing to you. All of the first wave ascenders are receiving these transmissions now, as so many have already indicated. Just like at any difficult/pivotal point in your life your being asked yet again to surrender, trust, and have faith but this time you’re being shown EVERYTHING.

Me: Well, in fairness, it’s going to take me a day or so to digest and reconcile how I’m feeling with your message. I want to believe you, as it does resonate as truth, but emotionally I’m still a little raw.

Much love and light



Dear April,

first of all let me tell your that you have done a fabulous job. You have stood firm to your feelings and perceptions and you have shown that you are only seeking the truth. I highly value your effort to ask for an explanation from your higher self, or soul family, or whatever it is. and you have done it to the best of your possibilities. In fact you have done more than I expected.

You know, when I was in the same situation after 11.11.11, precisely a week before that, when I knew that we will not ascend at this stargate, I asked Sue Caroll, who gave me the initial confirmation from the Arcturians at that time that we will ascend. I simply wanted from her to ask her source on November 3rd what happened that the initial plan was canceled. She became so scared about her wrong message that she did not respond at all to my request, went underground for several weeks and then accused the PAT without any reason of being dark entities that allegedly attacked her. I was personally very disappointed about her cowardice and this actually sealed the rapture with her, although I had a very intimate connection with her before that.

You, on the contrary, stood firm to your own truth and did not hesitate to put your HS, where it should be – in the defensive position. In fact, all she has told you is known to me as I had some quarrels with the forces of light (GF) in the higher realms three days ago for not fulfilling their obligations, which led to these latest delays. The latter have always to do with the unpreparedness of the masses to respond to the light and the failure of their individual souls to open them.

The story with the dark ones in Iran may be true, as we have just had a massive earthquake in the North of Iran which was triggered  by the dark forces with the help of HAARP as a retaliation for the fact that they cannot trigger a WW3 with Iran. But this aspect should have been considered in advance by the higher realms as the situation is not new.

My impression is that we will stay a couple of more days on the ground. In fact I received information ten days ago that we will ascend on August 15th, but I did not want to believe it as I thought it would be too late. Now this date seems to be rather realistic, given the present difficulties. After all we are talking about the ascension of a whole planet and 4 billion people to the higher 4th dimension and not only about the ascension of a few PAT members. If it were for us, we would have been gone long time ago.

Now calm yourself as you have done your best and I am very content with your achievement so far. We cannot force such a complex action of cosmic proportions as we also want that it will take place in the most peaceful way without any catastrophes. To balance the energetic situation, one needs enormous calibration and this may take indeed a couple of more days. The good news is that the process is this time irreversible and that we will ascend this month.

I have worked for this end 62 years, I can now wait a couple of more days.

Thank you for your precious support. ..


Dear Georgi,

Thank you so much. I was so relieved to read your note of kindness and support. Yes, as you can tell, I do feel personally responsible and accountable for the information I put out there. It cannot be any other way as I would expect the same from any ascended master. Even through the difficult times, it is still important for the sake of our own personal integrity, to own up to our actions, especially if wrong or inaccurate. It isn’t easy, but I can’t/won’t hide from that, whatever the consequences. I myself can easily forgive mistakes or misunderstanding if I feel that both parties are being truthful. So I guess, I try and live that example and hope my sincerity comes through..thank you again for understanding and reassuring me.

I will try in the next day or so to get more information but for now, I feel that HS and I had a moment and I need a little time to realign/process…

Thanks again Georgi, you and the Pat are my family and I was heartbroken about hurting any of you.

Big hug, and much love and light,

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